Bacteria, slime, mold, yeast,
Jellyfish, shark, wildebeest,
Monkey, chimp, ape, man.
Face it, folks, there was no plan.
(Richard Lempert, Arlington)

Musket and ball we've got, also disease;
We're accustomed to taking whatever we please.
"Manifest Destiny" can't be denied
(And it sounds so much better than, oh, "genocide.")
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

After fourscore years and just a tad
We have death and gore galore.
It's very sad, 'cause war is bad,
Now go on out and fight some more.
(Sarah Johnson, Auburn, Ala.)

We've had enough of Al Capone,
Seems we set the gangsters loose.
So go back to your drunken ways --
We'll just tax the juice.
(Carl Yaffe, Rockville)

Claim your big refund,
And deduct your Hummer.
What's that? You're not rich?
Oh, man, that's a bummer.
(Mark Briscoe, Arlington)

It's clearly demonstrable: Any closed system
Exhibits a strict conservation of mass.
That cache of your leftover Halloween candy?
It's all been transformed to more lard on my ass.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

The square of A plus the square of B
Equals the square of hypotenuse C.
Aside from this, hypotenuses
Have few if any practical uses.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)