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Style Invitational 555: NeoPets

The Style Invitational (washingtonpost.com)

Report from Week 555, in which we asked for wholesome sentences that would be rejected by the filter of the very careful Neopets.com Web site. We heard from several actual Neopets aficionados with actual tales to tell: Donna Metler, for instance, reports that "I have learned the hard way that I can't tell people I play sax, as opposed to saxophone." And Andy Schwartz of Long Beach, N.Y., says the robo-censors wouldn't let him announce, "This Funny Pen is my badge of honor as a member of the Neopian Space Cadets."

This week's entries were especially repetitive; if your idea is credited here to someone else, well, life on Earth can be unfair. Feel free to take your Petpet and relocate to the Neopian Moon of Kreludor. Watch your mouth, though.

DSecond runner-up: The aspiring painters and sculptors even created a Web page, which may be viewed at www.festivalofarts.org. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

DFirst runner-up, winner of the Feb. 25, 1972, copy of Life magazine: "My horse is injured, but I'm going to win the race anyway," Steven insisted. "I'm just going to do it with a pony." (Dan Steinberg, Falls Church)

DAnd the winner of the Inker: Visiting cousins in Guadalajara, young Guillermo got lost and burst into tears. "Don't cry, little fella -- Tio is right here!" said his uncle. (Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

DHonorable Mentions:

Rev. Roberts had many evangelical achievements, but building his university in Tulsa really gave Oral

satisfaction. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

I commute from Maryland, see? So

every morning I enter Virginia, I screw around all day, then I pull out of Virginia and go home. (Tom Witte, Montgomery

Village)

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" cried Santa. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge; Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)

Texas Instruments invites hearing-

impaired customers to contact us on the TI TTY line. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Jimmy felt cross burning his ex-

girlfriend's letters, the white sheets bound tightly in leather. (Bill Spencer,

Exeter, N.H.)

Today's Bible reading is Zechariah 9:9, King James Version: "Behold, thy King cometh unto thee . . . riding upon an ass." (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

We were admiring the splendid rainbow when a sudden cloudburst brought pink and golden showers. (Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

Virginia Catholic School Girls Dominate Ball Game, Snatch 69th Victory (Erika Reinfeld, Somerville, Mass.)

On our trip to California, we peeked into the downy nest of a pair of bushtits. (Janet Millenson, Potomac)

Before erecting structure, assemble pieces on bare surface: wooden parts A through G, screws and nuts. For best

results, rub parts gently with oil. (Mary Eaton, Arlington)

Sen. Rick Santorum and Rep. Tom DeLay are Congress's staunchest defenders of family values. (Peter Metrinko, Plymouth, Minn.)

Eddie hated to walk home along

Connecticut Avenue. Every day he was hassled by a group of Dupont Circle jerks. (Chris Doyle)

My brother once made a sandwich with Miracle Whip, Ding Dongs and a chicken breast -- the same brother who

graduated summa cum laude from Yale! (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

The job listing, perfect for Mic's friend, was on Getty.org. As Mic looked at it with Liz, they found exactly the right

position. (Jane Auerbach)

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This page contains a single entry from kwc blog posted on May 23, 2004 10:51 AM.

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